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Den Pimmel in die Sonne stecken – Die 10 schlechtesten Sexszenen des Literaturjahrs 2014

in Literatur by

Das englische Literaturmagazin Literary Review, das wir selbstverständlich im Vorzugsabo haben, beendete neulich die Wahl zur beschissensten Beschreibung einer Sexszene in der Literatur. Wer jetzt auf Fifty Shades Of Grey tippt, liegt leider falsch. Es gibt so viele Autoren, die in der Königsdisziplin “Sex sinnlich erzählen” daneben greigen. Wobei daneben natürlich immer im Auge des Betrachters liegt. Hier die nominierten Passagen:

1. The Legacy of Elizabeth Pringle von Kirsty Wark

He said my name over and over as he lifted me up, my legs curled around him, and laid me down beneath him on the high bed. I had never imagined that I was capable of wanton behaviour, but it was as if a dam within me had burst and we made love that day and night like two people starved, slowly suffused with more and more pleasure, exploring and devouring every inch of each other, so as not to miss one single possibility of passion.

2. Desert God von Wilbur Smith

Her hair was piled high, but when she shook her head it came cascading down in a glowing wave over her shoulders, and fell as far as her knees. This rippling curtain did not cover her breasts which thrust their way through it like living creatures. They were perfect rounds, white as mare’s milk and tipped with ruby nipples that puckered as my gaze passed over them.

Her body was hairless. Her pudenda were also entirely devoid of hair. The tips of her inner lips protruded shyly from the vertical cleft. The sweet dew of feminine arousal glistened upon them.

3. The Narrow Road to the Deep North von Richard Flanagan

Whatever had held them apart, whatever had restrained their bodies before, was now gone. If the earth spun it faltered, if the wind blew it waited. Hands found flesh; flesh, flesh. He felt the improbable weight of her eyelash with his own; he kissed the slight, rose-coloured trench that remained from her knicker elastic, running around her belly like the equator line circling the world. As they lost themselves in the circumnavigation of each other, there came from nearby shrill shrieks that ended in a deeper howl.

Dorrigo looked up. A large dog stood at the top of the dune. Above blood-jagged drool, its slobbery mouth clutched a twitching fairy penguin.

4. From ‘DD-MM-YY’ in Things to Make and Break von May-Lan Tan

She wriggles down under the blankets and pulls off my jeans and skivvies. I lie back and her hair tickles my stomach, her mouth wrapping over me. I’d forgotten this about her: she has the smallest, hottest mouth, as if she’s storing lava in her cheeks. I shut my eyes, holding her hair by the roots. My bones start to liquefy.

When I’m about to come, I flip her onto her back and take off her underwear. I roll her nipple on my tongue and rub her clit with my thumb until her lips get slippery. I glide my middle finger in and out, then fold her legs up and push in. God. It’s like sticking your cock into the sun.

5. The Hormone Factory von Saskia Goldschmidt

She was moaning softly now, her breath coming faster. She tasted of apples. Her soft warm flesh was driving me crazy – that dish of delight my tongue was now lapping at frenziedly. Her suppressed cries were coming faster and faster. I unbuttoned my pants, pushing them down past my hips, and my beast, finally released from its cage, sprang up wildly. I started inching my way back up, continuing to stimulate her manually, until the beast found its way in. She opened her eyes and said softly, ‘I’m still a virgin, please be careful.’

I kept myself quiet for a moment, kissed her and said, “I’ll be very gentle, all right?”

Running her tongue over her lips she nodded; she was as hot as boiling water in a distillation flask, and it wasn’t long before I was able to really get going. We both came at the same time. I stayed inside her for a few seconds, gazed at her, and smiled.

6. Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage von Haruki Murakami

The girls entwined themselves lithely around Tsukuru. Kuro’s breasts were full and soft. Shiro’s were small, but her nipples were as hard as tiny round pebbles. Their pubic hair was as wet as a rain forest. Their breath mingled with his, becoming one, like currents from far away, secretly overlapping at the dark bottom of the sea.

These insistent caresses continued until Tsukuru was inside the vagina of one of the girls. It was Shiro. She straddled him, took hold of his rigid, erect penis, and deftly guided it inside her. His penis found its way with no resistance, as if swallowed up into an airless vacuum. She took a moment, gathering her breath, then began slowly rotating her torso, as if she were drawing a complex diagram in the air, all the while twisting her hips. Her long, straight black hair swung above him, sharply, like a whip.

7. The Lemon Grove von Helen Walsh

She closes her eyes. Shakes her head.

“We can’t,” she begins. His mouth is on hers; his tongue is jabbing around her gums, the wrinkled roof of her mouth. He pulls away a second time.

“Look at me,” he says.

She looks him in the eye. She reaches out and cups his balls and squeezes gently. Nathan closes his eyes, bites his lip. Then he steps into her, furious. And when it hits her, it slams her hard and fast, as life once had.

8. The Age of Magic von Ben Okri

When his hand brushed her nipple it tripped a switch and she came alight. He touched her belly and his hand seemed to burn through her. He lavished on her body indirect touches and bitter-sweet sensations flooded her brain.

She became aware of places in her that could only have been concealed there by a god with a sense of humour. Adrift on warm currents, no longer of this world, she became aware of him gliding into her. He loved her with gentleness and strength, stroking her neck, praising her face with his hands, till she was broken up and began a low rhythmic wail. She was a little overwhelmed with being the adored focus of such power, as he rose and fell. She felt certain now that there was a heaven and that it was here, in her body. The universe was in her and with each movement it unfolded to her.

9. The Affairs of Others von Amy Grace Loyd

I continued to tell her flesh of its gifts, such pleasure, gently but insistently given, even biting her earlobe with my front teeth, sweeping her hair from her face, her neck, as she cried, and breathed less jaggedly, “It hurts, it hurts.” I did not stop until it stopped hurting, until I heard pleasure articulated from her. Her throat as open as her body, wet everywhere from tears and the coming, and I did hear it, a long high twisting cry and a twisting in my arms as my fingers dove up and up into the full expressive wetness of her. Hold me, hold me. Here and here, she said after she came, placing one of my hands between her legs to press again, another over her breasts. Hold me tight.

10. The Snow Queen von Michael Cunningham

They both know they have to do this quickly. He slides his dick into her. She sighs more loudly, but it’s still a sigh, not a sex moan, though this time there’s a soft gasp at the end. Tyler is inside her, here’s the heat, the powerful wet hold, and fuck, he’s about to come already. He holds off, lets his cock rest in her, lies on top, his face pressed to her cheek (he can’t seem to look directly at her), until she says, ‘Don’t wait.’

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

He thrusts once, cautiously. He thrusts again, and he’s gone, he’s off into the careening nowhere. He lives for seconds in that soaring agonizing perfection. It’s this, only this, he’s lost to himself, he’s no one, he’s obliterated, there’s no Tyler at all, there’s only… He hears himself gasp in wonder. He falls into an ecstatic burning harmedness, losing, lost, unmade.

Und hier das Votum der Guardian-Leser:

Bildschirmfoto 2014-11-15 um 15.44.30

Kultur zum Sonntag – Episode IV: A New Haiku

in Film/Japan/Literatur by

Achja, die Poesie. Ausdrucksform der Liebe, des Weltschmerzes, der allgemeinen Gefühlslage des Dichters und, in vielen Fällen, Fenster zu einer anderen, vergangenen Zeit, klarer und echter, als es einem möglich erscheinen mag. Dass dies auch für weit, weit entfernte Galaxien in einer längst vergessenen Zeit gilt, beweist dieses kurze, hochkulturelle Fundstück aus den Tiefen des Internets, das darüber hinaus noch als eine der kürzesten und treffendsten Filmzusammenfassungen für den Startpunkt der einzig wahren Trilogie dient.

Auf Schlecky postet
man seltsame Reime um
Fans zu erfreuen.

A drumroll begins
The Fox fanfare starts playing
The logo appears

Han Solo shoots first
Greedo does not fire a shot
That would be silly

The rebels have won
And the heroes get medals
Except for Chewie

via fuck art, let’s kill.

Die Liebe des Torwarts zum Elfmeter – Ode an Manuel Neuer

in Literatur/Sport by

Es war nicht alles scheiße gestern. Auf Twitter manifestierte sich zwar über Nacht die internationale Erleichterung über die neue Dödeligkeit der DFB-Auswahl. Damit bezog man sich aber explizit auf die Feldspieler. Der Mythos Manuel Neuer steigerte sich unterdessen ins Unendliche, wird er in der Weltöffentlichkeit nunmehr als Mischung aus Staudamm, Bank von England und Tasmanischer Teufel wahrgenommen. Tenor: Auch wenn sich Mario Götze hundertmal beim Betreten des Sechzehners in Luft auflöst, am Ende muss jeder Mensch auf dieser Welt an der Lichtschranke aus Gelsenkirchen vorbei – vorher wird hier keiner Weltmeister. Man kann es natürlich auch mit süßerer Zunge formulieren. Dafür holte sich ZDF Aspekte den Dichter Albert Ostermeier ins Boot. Seine Ode an Manuel Neuer ist würdig und wird den Ereignissen gerecht. Ein Klick auf’s Bild und es gibt Poesie.

ode

Top 10 Listen von Peter Wittkamp

in Literatur by

Wenn es darum geht, das Leben in Listen zu ordnen, kommt kein Mensch an Peter Wittkamp vorbei. Der Kollege hinter auslisten.de nimmt viele Neurosen auf sich, um das Wesen des Menschen so genau wie möglich in Zeilen zu gießen. Das tut manchmal weh, macht aber zum Glück auch hin und wieder Verlage aufmerksam. Olé! Seit heute gibt’s das große Buch der Listen bzw. Die fünf schlechtesten Antworten auf “Ich liebe dich!” für studentenfreundliche 8,99 EUR. Hier ein paar Leseproben in Form unserer Top 10:

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